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Last day of tour, so better write something down about it... Trouble is, been having such a blast I haven't had time or inclination to sit down and digitize, but, anyway, here goes. Gig, hotel, bus, the end.We're staying in Austria, in a town called St.Ruprecht, near Graz. They have definitely had to mix and match their businesses here, the hotel is also a petrol station, as I discovered when eating my lunch al fresco, actually, no, I was outside... Cheese omelette with essence of lead free, not that great.. they also have a suntan shop which also doubles as a pizzeria, and a tobacconists cum photographic shop, still nice though.. It's funny, when you tour either Scandic or Germanic countries, one of the things they have in common is that it's so much cleaner than us in the UK, or France, Spain, etc. Can anyone tell me why that is? On to why we're here. Flensburg, Northern Germany. Travelled from home on the bus, which we seem to see more and more of, to a town I hadn't visited since 1983 with the Climax Blues band. Still haven't visited, the University was on the outskirts, saw the venue, and that was it We started playing 'Heavy Traffic' and 'Creeping Up' at soundcheck, not bad for the first time. New opening act. Who's that girl, with Tonto's mate Ralph and his friend, whose name I didn't find out, pretty good they were, as were we. On then to Hannover, for a weird mix of acts, Sweety Glitter, Alpha(big in Japan)ville Banana(sack o'cack)rama, and Mr. Jimmy Somerville, who was really good, not just good, but he sang live. You get really cheesed off when all these acts come out and mime, and pretend they are actually singing. If I told you all the artistes (and I use the term loosely) I know of that mime most of the time, and I'm including rock acts here, you would be well and truly gobsmacked. At least we sing and play live, like us or loathe us. I would imagine though, that if you're reading this you're probably a fan, so forget the loathe bit However, if . you are reading this and you DO think we're crap, then feel free to go forth and multiply, or, failing that, f*** right off. Whatever, had a sleeping pill last night, makes you a bit grouchy next day, so watch it if you know what's good for you, OK? Oh, yes the gig, 30,000 punters, in a square on the site of Expo 2000. We done good, but those shows are really funny, they're normally what we in the biz (man) call a soft (cheap) ticket show, usually sponsored, so there's a lot of people who don't normally go to concerts, and it shows. You get some Quo fans down the front, plus these people who look at you, then after a while might start to yawn, or look at their watches, or have a permanently pained look on their faces, or try to sleep on the barriers. It's hilarious, doesn't put one off one bit... Why come at all? Is the question. 
Next... Hamburg, outdoors, in the Stadtpark, a venue we've done a few times before, in fact the first time I ever played in Germany was here, 1979, playing with Judie Tzuke, supporting Donovan! Love and peace man. Have any of you ladees out there got any English in them? Do you want some? A great place to play, in daylight, with lovely weather, which on this trip has been v. agreeable, must say, 5000 billy, went down really well, not a bad life really. Watched the bore draw between England and Sweden before we drove to Rostock next day, for the last of a run of 4 gigs, it's actually quite demanding, can't remember that much about the gig, except that Mona, one of yours trulys' legion of German fans was there, as was Maureen, from Southend, and Heidi, from Copenhagen. I think Maureen m'love is possibly our number one English fan, she turns up when you would least expect her. I also remember it was a Sunday, and we always to seem to play Rostock on Sundays. As I'm writing, it's started raining. This of course means we are playing an outdoor show tonight. We have actually been incredibly lucky this year with our outdoor shows (don't speak too soon), the cloud has probably had a nervous breakdown or something... An overnighter to the lovely Danish town of Viborg, and a day off. Makes such a change to have a rest day with great weather, an OK Hotel and a good location. Next day we played Skive, the first of 2 shows there in 5 days, this time opening for Rod Stewart. A difficult show, not helped by his production team, and I think I can safely say we didn't do as well as we would have liked, still, you can't win 'em all. On to Odense, home of Hans Christian Anderson, outdoor show, lovely weather, fantastic catering, top totty, hey ho let's go.. We were all very sad to hear yesterday of the passing of John Entwistle, a big hero of mine and friend of Rick, makes you realise how fragile we are and life is. 
You know I was just saying about a day off in a great location? Cue other end of scale. The town of Ronneby (pop.2) was not even a one horse town, more like a one hu town, dead as a dodo, but full of the most amazing looking girls, every cloud has a silver lining, I suppose. All the other bands for the next day's show were also staying at the Hotel, it looked like a werewolf convention when I walked in to reception, hair for miles. On the show, at Salvesborg, people not wearing black were being publicly flogged and beaten, and any drummer found without a double bass drum pedal was taken out and executed without trial. So, apart from John (born to be wild) Kaye, who was great, with a shit hot band, and Manfred Mann, who I think is always good, Fuck, Death or Shit was the title of every song I think, from all the other bands. Sooo, we had to show them how it's done. And we did. Nuff said, Except that we were absofuckenlutelyfanfuckentastic, in metalspeak. Back to Skive again, a "beach party" if you will ladies and gentlemen, this time for our own show. We were only put on with Rod because the gig with him wasn't selling, and as ours was already sold out, they added us to the bill. So, we went on to a full beach, 15,000, which was nice. Only trouble, also on the festival was a dance tent, which you get these days, and at the end of each song you could hear boom boom boom ba ba ba boom boom boom, I'm sure it was the same record. Quite a pisser as it goes, never mind, I love Denmark, the people are lovely, they all speak English, the beer's fab and they love Status Quo. Say no more. Copenhagen. Went to the Tivoli, v. disappointed, did the gig in a lovely park which looks out to the sea, and, better than that, a v. nice chap by the name of Jens gave us a case of Portuguese and French wines. Top call, thanks again, Rhino the wino straight from there to Stockholm, to a gig we didn't play. I'm very sorry to all of you who turned up, but there was no way we could have played on that stage. I also heard yesterday that another band also cancelled their show at the same venue this week, which makes me feel marginally better. Let me reiterate, we HATE cancelling shows, for god's sake that's why we tour, to take what we do to a paying public, but we ain't the sort of band to turn up and do an acoustic set etc, that's not who we are... we are Status Quo, not Crosby Stills and English bloke with squawky voice...actually that's me. 
On to Oslo for 2 days off, hoorah! Better than that my better half came over for the time there, Oslo, How much? You are kidding! You're not? Jeeesus! Oslo is to cheapness what I am to stamp collecting. There is NOTHING anything like prices anywhere else. A pint is from 10 euros, a Coke from 5 or 6, won't bother going on. Great gig for me, but then I do like a club. Not on the head you understand, but a place where much merry making and mirth, drinking, and twisting and frugging with the idea of possibly exchanging bodily fluids, or, to give it it's medical terminology, getting your end away is done. It was a scorcher, shit sound, boiling hot, fantastic billy, Francis hated it, I loved it. There you go. On to Hamar after a beautiful drive, Norway is an incredibly scenic country, and with Mona, the Norwegian promoter's rep with us, never boring, top bird she is. By the way, the cloud has recovered from it's illness, as it's now pissing down…. Outdoor show, with one (the first) good support band, and one (the second) crap. Lots of people just turned up, as the gig was really in the middle of nowhere, I suppose the Norwegians don't mind traveling. By the way, this can give you an idea how expensive it is in Norway. They have cash dispensers in Mcdevils! I'm actually on the bus at the moment (no!!) we're on a 20 hour drive home from Southern Austria, and we've got, wait for it, a big one, (looks funny in print, that) yes that's right, one day off, to do as we like with, before the next 4 week stretch of work. Heavy traffic, uuum, heavy work, maaan... Yeah, so the world is a bus shaped lobster to me at the moment, as I can't go anywhere except the bog or me bunk. 
Last gig of this bit, before we went back to England, overnight, (actually it didn't get dark) to the last Norwegian show, in Trondheim, quite a rocking town by the looks of it. Watched England beat the Danes, then went gigwards. It was on a ski run, as all the pics with this log show, the people standing in front of the stage couldn't see us without jumping up, the stage was so high! As the Gomorr said, "we've played some strange gigs before, but I think this is the strangest" Watching pissed up billy wander off up the slope for 2 or3 hundred metres, then roll down like sausages was so funny we could hardly play for laughing at times, top top top birds, and some bloke in a kilt (don't ask me why) who kept flashing his arse. Saw Per Rannug, Norwegian type bloke I know , all you geetaaarreesssttss out there, check out his tabs chart (http://home.online.no/~prannug/quo/tabs.html), dead good. Anyway, Matt didn't see anyone all night, including Rick Francis and me, as we had to stay right at the front so that anyone could see us. Right, I've had enough, that's yer lot. We're missing the World Cup Final as we're driving, never thought I'd say this, but come on you Germans, beat the Brazillian cheats. 
John Victor Edwards (Still 49).
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