Oh M'god. I thought I would reference my home page of logism to find out
where I stopped last time. If you look at all the other years, there are around
10 or 12 each one. 3 this year. Either I've, shall we say, honed my style to
give an informative humour laced account of life on the road with the craziest,
zaniest and anything else ending with "est" band in about 1500 words or I'm
just lazy. I leave it to you to decide, my beloved readers, without whom I could
not continue in this mortal coil. in fact if I were to kill myself officially as a
member of Quo, I would be well justified to say I was the first person to
literally shuffle off this mortal coil. Funny or what, hey? No, I thought not.
Sierre, Switzerland. What a great vibe man. Small town with a Blues kind of festival for a few days, music everywhere, and all I heard was really good, stayed in a Chateau, great outdoor venue, rammed and appreciated, as you would in Switzerland, great food, and even a great glass of Swiss wine, now that was a first. And I got paid. Result!
Next gig was in the Czech republic, a town spelt something like Hawierezov, needless to say I couldn't pronounce it anyway. Went out with Bown in the morning for a look around and a SMALL local beer. Walked in a bar "Two small beers please" "You English?" "Yes" "No small beer for English only large. You like Slivovitz?" "Don't know" "You do now" 2 pints and a massive Slivovitz (which I do like now, it's a plum kind of Schnapps I think, but more lethal) later, it was time for breakfast, which was Hrano.
Welcome to the Czech republic, where the word Hrano means potato or something like that. My good friend Mike Spudulike told me that and he should know. On the way to the show, which by the way cost 4 Euros admission we passed this abandoned coal works, the biggest industrial site I have ever seen, I wonder what the local people do for jobs now it's gone.
Maybe beer and Slivovitz, I dunno. Mind you the bar we'd been in was pretty busy at 11 O'clock in the morning. It's one of the few places where a Brit can go and wonder at how cheap everything is. Packed out with about 1500 kids, they all knew 'In The Army Now' though, and what they didn't know they just basically got into. Funny innit, simple good time music can just GET you, don't know why, it just does. Maybe it”s some kind of Primeval thing, actually thinking of the music that must be it. Going off the point here a bit...
Next, by a very nice private plane we got to Zurich, for a completely sold out 14 000 capacity Hallenstadion. Wow! They have a strict decibel limit there, which can make it a bit polite, but someone apparently didn't show up to monitor it, so away we went as per normal. Pumping loud, as all good rock music should be, if you don't feel the bass drum in yer chest it ain't kicking in my book. Mind you, Motorhead. That is LOUD!!!! Good though.
We had a great time, brilliant billy, from all over Europe, a real Quofest, which coincidentally we're in the middle of the tour of the same name as I write, O2 today. Anyway, brilliant gig, and then Holiday! A quick week in Minorca, where the grass is so green, met another pair of new best mates, Tristan and Ollie, which now means I have 3 new best mates if you include me new best mate George from Aberdeen.
Some pretty interesting locations this year, and Le Mans was next, at a motor cycle 24 hour race.Boring! I must have spent at least 2 minutes checking out what was happening on the track before realising that watching events like that is the ultimate solution to insomnia. Each to their own I suppose, but I think life is too short. Weird show in an open air part of the place, 12 thousand in I reckon but some right twats down near the front decided to start pushing, Billy was getting really freaked, it is easy to see how people get hurt like that. It was only about 10 twats, but they were so stupid and thought they were so clever. On the bizarrely funny side, from the stage it was like some giant Hokey Cokey dance, you put yer ?ole (zat's how they say whole in France y'see) self in etc. ... Coat.
Next bit was yet anuvver French tour. No complaints from me, good to see Wille and the Bandits encore un fois (that's goose pate to you. What do you mean, non? Huh?) Highlights were the Paris show at L'Olympia, where I met up with me old best mate Dave the train driver, possibly the man with the most Catholic taste I know. Maybe that's because he married one. A Catholic, not a train, too weird to think about, that. And he's a Beesman too! And we won yesterday too! Too wun!
Great loud sweaty, hot show, with the usual stylish French babes. Sacre bleu! Donner und Blitzen! I also really enjoyed the show at Chateaudun, in a tiny theatre in a park. Complete shithole backstage, but who cares? Storming gig. Funny town as well, typical French, little square, 2 or 3 restaurants, amazing (cheap) lunch, all the old bits of the town lovingly cared for, I love that country so much. By the way, let's have a look at the old scoreboard. Chateaudun versus Germany, as in battles. Did the rampart walk you see and read up on the place. Suffice to say, Chateaudun United (Home team). P. 2 W.0 D.0 L.2 Points.0 . German army Wanderers P.2 W.2 D.0. Points, lots.
The cathedral at Rheims was incredible, went there with Andrew, as he said, you could almost believe in God, looking at the splendour and taking in the atmosphere. It really was a complete mind blower, I hear that Chartres is as spectacular, will look forward to that.
I know that what everyone wants to read about is jolly japes and capers by the way, but apart from the fact I have become a transvestite and in future want to be known as Carolyn, there's not a lot to write about.
You know what, something really bizarre happened in Antwerp, the next gig after France. I mean really strange, but I can't tell you what it was! It will come out in due course. Sod's law, isn't it?
So, tata girls, I shall provide more tantalising titbits and gossip in the next edition of "RHINO'S TOUR LOG!!" at a computer near you soon, priced 1 shilling and sixpence halfpenny. Reserve your copy now! Or donate to Save the Rhino, I just gave them a car, seriously. You can donate one to your named charity,it just has to be your car, not someone you may not like or hold a grudge against. Check them out at www.giveacar.co.uk
Right, that's yer lot, I'm off...